“The Grey Areas”
I think it's far too common for Christians to rationalize that if God doesn't have a specific Bible verse about something, then it automatically falls into a “grey area,” which leaves us with our “personal preference” as the determining factor in making a choice or forming a conviction. (which starts sounding strangely like religious relativism...)
2 Timothy 3:16 says, “ALL Scripture is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, instruction in righteousness.” That means the whole counsel of God's Word is useful and necessary to guide us in every area of life. Because the whole Bible speaks to the whole of life. And let's face it...to God, there are no grey areas....He cares about it all.
If man is to “live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” then shouldn't our personal convictions be shaped and formed by a broad understanding of the full scope of Scripture? The more Scripture... the more wisdom...the more wisdom, the more light to view all of life with.
Here's just a few principals I came up with in considering this topic (and I'm sure you could find many more):
Why do I want to do this? (“Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” – 1 Cor. 10:31)
Have you spent time in prayer about it? Don't assume you already know your true motive. The heart is deceitful and you can't just trust yourself because you don't know yourself as God does.
If you find yourself thinking, “well, so and so does it and they're a Christian,” then you're being motivated by man, and not by God. (And you won't have to go far to find someone who agrees with/practices what you want to justify yourself in.)
Don't measure yourself against other Christians; don't be peer-oriented. God says this is not wise. (2 Cor. 10:12). Only Christ can give a true reflection of God's standards. So ask yourself, “will this make me more conformed to Christ? To my peers? To the world? Adopting cultural trends may make you less offensive to the world, but it only blurs the necessary distinction that sets you apart from it.
Will this be to the edification of the body of Christ? (“all things are lawful, but not all things edify” - 1 Cor. 10:23) The Christian life is not one of autonomy. Your personal decisions are to be made with consideration as to how they will affect the whole body to which you belong (1 Cor. 12:14-15). Will your example in what you are considering build up other believers and draw them closer to Christ?
Could this cause my brothers/sisters in Christ to stumble? (“let no man put a stumblingblock in his brother's way” - Rom. 14:13) Is your “Christian liberty” going to make a brother/sister weak in any way? Are you are striving to “please your neighbor for his good to edification?” (Rom. 15:2) We ought to be concerned about how our actions/example will influence and direct others....especially those who are younger in the faith.
Will this defile/deface God's temple? (“Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For you are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's” - 1 Cor. 6:19)
What you choose to do with your body and to your body matters to God, because it belongs to Him. If you lend your body to what God forbids or alter His design of it in some way to please yourself, are you really glorifying Him in it...or yourself?
What kind of message will it send to the world around you? (“Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” - Rom. 12:2) No Christian ever proved the will of God to the world by conforming to it. What makes you “peculiar” (1 Peter 2:9) to the world is your opposition to it. If your “grey areas” are making you look/act/think more like the world, your testimony is being compromised and weakened. How can you expect to aid a lost and dying world with more of what they already have?
Will this be a source of contention? (“as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men” - Rom. 12:18 “Let us follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.” - Rom. 14:19) Let's face it...much of what we choose to do is based on selfishness, without much concern for how it will affect our relationships. But if we really are striving to be at peace with one another, we will consider whether our actions may stir up strife, rather than promote peace. Is having your own way really worth the expense of a broken relationship?
Have I sought Godly counsel about it? (“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he that hearkens unto counsel is wise.” - Prov. 12:15) Do you have a humble, teachable spirit? Getting counsel from seasoned believers is a necessary part of the Christian life, no matter how old you are. If we are to succeed in living lives that glorify God, we need the wisdom of others who are drawing their personal convictions from Scripture. Someone who only tells you what you want to hear and pampers your pride is not equipped to help you like someone who is willing to explore what God's Word says with you. Pull mature, Godly people into your life...on purpose.
One last thought: If you are using the “grey areas” to see how close you can get to the world without “crossing the line,” you are already heading in the wrong direction. But if conformity to Christ is your true objective, then your personal choices will be a reflection of your love for Him, which will cause you to stand more and more in contrast to the world around you